Editor:

Out of respect for the intelligence of the readers of the Kennebunk Post, I will not engage in further polemics with Candidate Dobson. Suffice it to say that the juxtaposition of pseudo-economic theories, populist platitudes, and inflammatory rhetoric in her most recent letter leave me flummoxed and I would venture to guess that many others share my confusion over her colorful selection of words that sound erudite but in reality do not disguise claptrap.

Let’s examine some Dobson phraseology to see if we can shed light on her novel use of the English language. First,  “The corporate financier oligarchy.” What in tarnation does this mean? Well, Merriam Webster tells us that oligarchies are governments in which small groups exercise control usually for nefarious purposes; then we add “corporate” which simply means related to corporations, those entities that liberal politicians universally love to vitiate; finally the noun financier, yes financier is a noun not an adjective, but I suppose in this context it has been transformed from one part of speech to another to mean dealing with finance or investment on a large scale.  

So I ask who or what is this corporate small government that deals with financial matters with evil intentions?  It must be the Federal Reserve System and we all know that this is an evil body since its purpose according to the Federal Reserve Act that authorized it is  “to promote effectively the goals of maximum employment, stable prices, and moderate long-term interest rates.” Shame on the Federal Reserve for oppressing the people with such terrible policies! Where do I sign a petition to rid of us of this Darth Vader agency?

Here’s another interesting turn of a phrase by Candidate Dobson “…such as the 40 percent rise of the cost of a gallon of gas, a tax that we have no say over, thanks to Bush’s energy policy.” I am all for blaming Bush for everything from housemaids’ knees to childhood obesity but didn’t our present fuel crisis begin sometime around the mid 1970s and did I miss something here or did we have other presidents besides George W. since that time? By the way, who or what establishes the price for petroleum products? Global supply and demand, geopolitical events, strength of the dollar, commodity markets, international traders, speculators or GWB? 

What really fascinates me in this most recent letter from Candidate Dobson is the selection of neutral words to present cogent, well-reasoned arguments: “speculative swindling”, “corporate gougers”, “merciless motives”, “predatory lenders”, “gluttonous policies”, “mortgage swindle”, “speculative gamblers.”

I have finally seen the light, however.  Candidate Dobson is right. Here is what we need to do to solve all our economic ills:

Eliminate the Federal Reserve System and its market committee and give those powers directly to the People thereby ending hyperinflation engendered by merciless monetary policies (people, call 1-800-FedGone if you are interested in handling this easy task; no experience required)

Eliminate the stock and commodities markets “where billions are bet every day… causing inflation (emphasis added)” that way price increases will disappear (Nota bene: this change will require people with IRAs, KEOGHs, pension assets and other market traded investments to move them elsewhere; sorry for the inconvenience and the lower yields).

Eliminate mortgages and loans that way the people will never have to face foreclosure again (People will just have to save until they have enough cash to pay for houses and cars)

Eliminate all price increases for gas since this is “taxation without representation” (but keep the combined Federal and States taxes that now aggregate over 54 cents on each gallon of gas since these are good taxes, taxes with representation); and finally, eliminate the collusion between the President, the Federal Reserve and its monetary policies, and lenders that knowingly designed a foreclosure scheme specifically to put families on the street and to hurt small businesses.

Thank you, Candidate Dobson for your insight and clarity. I just wished that I had seen the light sooner.  Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa! May the force go with you!  Adieu! I will not respond to anymore of your economic proposals as I do not have the intestinal fortitude.

George J. Lambert

Kennebunk