By Renee Worthing 

Staff Writer

You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, I’m telling you why – Santa Claus is coming to Kennebunk’s May Day Parade.

Santa recently visited Kennebunk in order to obtain the recipe for chocolate chip and walnut cookies that were left out for him last Christmas Eve.

“Those cookies happen to be my favorite,” Santa said.

While he was in town, he heard about Kennebunk’s May Day Parade and also learned the parade would feature a float based on an illustration of Ol’ St. Nick by Norman Rockwell.

Someone recognized Santa, though, and asked if he would ride on the float during the event.

“I’m pretty gregarious,” Father Christmas said. “When there is a need for someone with a beard, I step right in. Besides, who could portray me better than me?”

Santa, who said he is 726 years old, has met a lot of people in his lifetime.

“Norman Rockwell was a wonderful person,” Santa said. “I posed for his first paintings. Now I’ll do it again for the parade.”

He said he’s looking forward to visiting the Kennebunks again, one of his many stops during yearly tours of the East Coast in a red Prius.

  “Besides Christmas, Labor Day is my favorite holiday,” Santa said, adding he has a fondness for Maine lobster and clams.

  He and Mrs. Claus also visit Bermuda.

  “It’s cold up there at the North Pole even at this time of year,” Kris Kringle said. “You have to get away.”  

He said the North Pole is experiencing some effects of global warming, but his good friend the Easter Bunny is “very environmentally conscious.”

“He’s really taught me a lot about global warming, the environment and how to go green,” Santa said. “He’s the one who encouraged me to get the Prius.”

Father Christmas said the reindeer are enjoying spring weather at the North Pole.

“They’re nibbling tender shoots right now,” Santa said. “Anytime the reindeer can range free, it’s a good time.”

He said he and Blitzen are very close and while he hopes children leave carrots out for the reindeer on Christmas Eve, he hinted that Blitzen likes a doggy biscuit once in awhile. Mentioning the dog biscuit reminded Santa of Max, the Grinch’s only faithful companion.

Santa, in his forgiving way, said he holds no grudges against the Grinch, who once attempted to steal Christmas.

“He keeps to himself nowadays,” Santa said, adding he delivers gifts to the Grinch if asked.

He said little Cindy Lou Who of Whoville who caught the Grinch stealing Christmas, is now grown and has children of her own. And, of course, Santa delivers gifts to Cindy Lou Who’s children.

Santa said he is fluent in all languages, but a special magic allows him to speak each language only when he is “on that soil.”

Despite the desolation of the North Pole, the advent of the Internet allows him to keep in touch with friends all over the world as well as peruse Web sites such as CraigsList.

The Internet also allows him to checks his “naughty and nice” list from anywhere in the world. He said he was keeping a close eye on one Kennebunk resident in particular.

“Her name is Danie Connolly (organizer of the Norman Rockwell Famous Saturday Evening Post Illustrations’ Plays),” he whispered. “She’s on the ‘nice list’ because she really, really believes in me.”

For those who don’t believe in Santa, he offered patience and love.

“Everyone is entitled to their own belief,” he said. “Santa is here and accepting and he’s here for anyone who needs a lift during the holidays.”