By Audrey Gup-Mathews

Guest contributor

A neighbor and I were talking on the phone the other day, when she asked me how my job search was going. “Oh, it’s going,” I responded. “I’ve applied for about nine jobs so far. I’m actually excited about a couple of them, and I could live with the others – but in this job market, who can be picky?” I asked her.

I had been unemployed for about five weeks, and no job within a 30-mile radius was off my radar screen. “The problem is,” I added, “I’m applying for jobs for which I am overqualified, as well as jobs that require a graduate degree. I’ve decided that I need to be Audrey A, Audrey B, and Audrey C.”

“What do you mean?” asked my neighbor, clearly wondering if five weeks of unemployment had finally pushed me over the edge. “Well, if I apply for a job that requires my teaching certificate and MA degree, I keep those on my resume, beef up the teaching experience, and drop my business administration jobs. If I apply for an office job, I delete the MA degree, drop the teaching jobs, highlight the office management positions, and let it fly. I’ve applied for a couple of jobs that ask for a GED, but I’ll be #*&%#$* if I’m going to drop my BA degree, so I leave that on the resume and hope they’ll overlook my education. So far, I have about eight different resumes in my computer file. I’m feeling schizophrenic.”

My neighbor laughed. “I know what you mean! I’ve got a “Writing Resume,” a “Teaching Resume,” a “Nonprofit Resume” – My computer is full of resumes, but you never know when you’ll need one or the other. What do you do if you are applying to a company that needs a receptionist this week, but they may have a management position in a few months that you would really love to get?” she asked. “You can’t very well send in your “Audrey-the-Receptionist” resume one week and your “Audrey-the-Manager” resume the next week to the same employer. You’ll be branded “Audrey-the-Imposter!” 

“Hmmmmmm. Good question – I hadn’t thought of that,” I pondered.

Would I be considered a perjurer for neglecting to list all of my education with an application? Could I be fired from a new job if some eagle-eyed human resources person happened to notice my “dualing resumes” among her files? Would I miss the career opportunity of a lifetime, all because I needed to bring home a paycheck and make my mortgage?

“I’ll deal with that situation if it comes up,” I responded.

Still, the prospect of being fired from a new job (or passed over for a “dream job”) due to a few missing lines on my resume was troubling. A masters in art history seemed like a good idea in 1981 – Who could have guessed that in 2008 that same masters might make me unmarketable???

I proceeded to tell my friend about an exciting position with an organization up in Portland for which I had just applied, and she wished me luck. Hanging up the phone, I turned back to my computer to work on Resume No. 1. Or was that Resume No. 3? Uh oh – Did I just send the Teaching Resume out with the executive director job application, or was that the Office Manager application? Noooooooooooooo!!!!

Audrey Gup-Mathews has worked in education and nonprofit administration in southern Maine. Gup-Mathews invites readers to send or thoughts regarding unemployment to her at “The Write Impression” at www.writeimpressionmaine.com.